Thursday, January 27, 2011

House progress

Let's see the progress of our bathroom since purchase to now

This is how it looked when we bought the place. Pink walls. White and black tile with lead glaze that was so potent that it was off the charts when we had a lead test done on the house. The best part about the tile is that it wasn't finished. Sadly though, who ever was doing this project put up all the thin set to stick the tiles, but never got around to putting them up. The bottom left of the first pic shows this. Another great bonus to this room - handicap accessable. See the PVC pipe across the first picture? That was anchored into the wall with foot long bolts. The original owner was a man getting on in years. Apparently he needed a little help with balance while using the facilities. Gross! The second pic shows the vanity falling apart, the floral linolium, and the beautiful shell pattern on the toilet seat lid. Let's not forget the window in the shower with two shower curtains covering it. I still don't know why two were needed, or why one was pink. Interesting.

 So, here's the shower. Plastic laminated partical board, which apparently is like a dessert for termites. Nice view of all their holes and paths around the shower. Nothing like showering in this ugliness, and then worring about visitors.

Well, if it wasn't ugly before, it sure is now. M went to Florida for his brother's wedding. During that time I stayed home and invited my family over to help fix the termite mess. My father and brothers came down and we tore out the termite infested partical board. Thankfully the internal damage wasn't too bad and no structure damage to deal with. So, after a few hours at Home Depot and lots of $ later, we had the materials to put it all back together. This time, with tile, so no more buggies could eat their way into my showers. (notice the cheapo flooring we put down in the interim, horrid)

Happy Mother's Day to me! Instead of flowers and a home made card from AJ, I got to grout a tub. Oh, what joy. (Mother's Day the previous year had me painting stripes on AJ's bedroom walls, really hoping for a less labor intensive Mother's Day this year).

So, this is how the bathroom looked for months after that busy weekend. We put up the paneling and installed a new vanity. We also got a new toilet, thanks to M. He claims he accidentally dropped it while moving it, but I'm going with it was more accidentally on purpose.

So, here's where we are today:

New flooring that matches the hallway and kitchen. White doors and trim makes a huge difference.

Brown makes the space more comfortable as opposed to the blue that was a bit much. Plus, the radiator was sandblasted and repainted, to make it look much less like the 60 year old piece it is.

Ok, so the mirror is a medicine cabinet. Not the best choice for modern, but we lack space in the house, so it's needed. Plus, if we had a picture of how it looked before, this is a vast improvement. When we bought the house there was a mirrored medicine cabinet with etched flowers on the glass and flourescent lights on each side of the mirror. Horrible. M may or may not have electricuted himself trying to remove it.

So, that's the bathroom for now. I still need to reframe the window trim in the shower, change the light fixture in the ceiling, add a towel holder for the hand towels, get a new rug and towels to match the room, plus I painted all over the rug that's in there now. Oops. Not great, won't be in a magazine, but a vast improvement I must say.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 8

Vegas Baby!

For my cousin's 21st Birthday her family planned a trip to Vegas. It was supposed to be with her fiance. However her fiance ended up being deployed to the sandbox when the time for the trip rolled around. A free trip to Vegas was then offered to me. Yes please!

It was such an amazing time. I think in the whole week we were there I gambled $20, and that was only on slots. However, the shopping, people watching, just experience of it all was fantastic. We still have so many stories and random references that will make us die laughing. The only down side, don't go in June unless you like 98 degree heat at midnight, 120 degrees during the day. Ugh!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Day 7

Favorite movies:

Pride and Prejudice, either the Collin Firth or the Keira Knightly version. I love them both. The Firth version is more accurate to the book. It's the true story of the book. The Knightly version is beautiful. The shots, scenes, the way the camera follows through crowds showing so much.

Die Hard. All of them.

Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Breakfast Club, basically anything from the Brat Pack.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Day 6

Something that makes you smile

Definitely need a pic to smile at these days.

Nothing like big kisses from AJ

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Last Week

Ok. For my own peace of mind, I need to get out how the whole thing happened. I don't want to forget details as time goes on.

New Years Day brought on the beginning of the end. I was feeling odd all morning. I figured I just ate too much the night before. I didn't want to do anything though. We were supposed to go visit family and celebrate a birthday. We kept pushing it off, saying we'll leave in a bit. Neither M or I really wanted to go. Then, after we had pushed it off for as long as we could, I used the bathroom before heading out. That's when I saw it. Blood. Not spotting, not pink or brown. Blood. Period type blood. I freaked. Thankfully my mother was visiting at the time, and she'd figured we were probably heading for the worst outcome. I asked M to watch AJ while I left. I needed to get away. I needed to greive. We drove around for a while, and finally stopped at a store. I used the restroom and was ready to face more blood. However, there was nothing there. All night I analyzed every cramp and prayed each time I sat on the toilet. I managed to get through the night without any other issues. I started to get hopeful again.

Sunday, still no more blood. However I started to cramp. I was getting sharp cramps, enough to make me pause in whatever I was doing. Again, I figured it was over. By late Sunday night the cramps were accompanied by lots of brown when wiping.

Monday, I was still having brown and pink spotting and right sided cramping. I called the doctor's office. They told me to come right in. I made arrangements for AJ and went in expecting to hear my fears confirmed. I filled my bladder and waited with my breath held while the ultrasound tech started her work on an abdominal scan. She said "Nope, we're going to have to do an internal scan". I said "I kindof figured you wouldn't see anything". She said "I can see the heart. See the flicker right there?" ELATION! My baby was still alive. She moved on to the internal and we got to see the amazing baby, with such a strong heart. she even turned on the microphone part and I heard that fantastic sound. Everything checked out fine. They said I had a small 5mm bleed and that was probably the cause of my bleeding. I was on Cloud 9 all day.

Tuesday brought more brown spotting and cramping, but my baby was healthy, so it couldn't mean anything.

Wednesday, more cramping, more spotting, lots of brown and pink.

Thursday was my regularly scheduled first nurse visit. We sat in an office while she asked me all the questions to get the history accurate. I told her I was still having heavy brown discharge. Sometimes tinged pink and sometimes with red clots in it. She wasn't concerned at all. Said it was okay for now. Unless it's heavy red soaking a pad in an hour, no worries.

Thursday night, I had my period again. I tell my mother, and she mentions how she had brown bleeding through out the entire pregnancy with me. Lots of women in my family bleed when pregnant with their daughters. I didn't do it with AJ, but maybe I'm just wierder than my family and bleed with boys? Who knows. Thursday night the cramps intensify a bit. Also, I remember thinking at one point that my abdomen felt hot. I didn't know why at the time, but I remember thinking it odd.

Friday morning, I wake to another period style bleed. I ignore it as being normal for the family and go to work. I have off and on red/brown/pink discharge. Still no huge amounts, but it's always there. I get so nervous that I order a doppler online. If this baby is going to freak me out so often, I want to hear the heart whenever I want.

Friday night, I feel blue and go to bed early. I remember thinking how I shouldn't still be comfortable laying flat on my stomach. I knew something was up. I prayed to God to give me an answer one way or the other. At 9:30PM I feel hot in the abdomen again, and know I need to go to the bathroom. Once I sit down, I feel a gush and look at the mess. It's officially over. All the ups and downs, all the waiting, breath holding, excitment, worry. It's done. I clean myself up and look. I see the sac, and as gross as it is, I picked it up. I got to hold my baby long enough to say "goodbye". My tiny angel who fit between the tips of my fingers is gone.

I walk past the living room and look at M playing a videogame. I tell him it's officially over. He asks how I know, and I tell him I just saw our baby. It's over. I crawl into bed.

He followed, and held me while I cried. I think he cried too.

After having a cry together, I needed to be alone. I brought my laptop and a box of tissues to the couch and sat in front of the TV. I knew sleep wouldn't come that night, so I wanted so many electronic distractions I wouldn't have to think. I was incredibly upset that no Golden Girls marathon was on, but did manage to find some other mindless shows. I went to my group of internet friends, my June Girls, and informed them of the loss. I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of prayers and support by them. I even spent part of the night messaging with one of them. I had never talked to her before on a one-on-one basis, but it helped so much to talk to someone who had experienced this loss. Even if we were talking at 11PM, when no one else was up. Even better that I didn't have to actually talk, I could type, so no getting choked up. I looked up loss websites, quotes, prayers and started thinking about how to add our baby to the family tattoo I plan on getting when we're done having kids. I slept however long The Money Pit is, because I know I put it on, but don't think I saw any of it. I also almost ordered the Salad Chef. Thankfully getting my wallet required too much effort.

Saturday I spent the day with AJ and my mother. I cried a lot, but it was ok. I started letting people know of the loss by text or email. I was even able to sleep some that night.

Sunday, I had a realization. I had a baby, and that baby was born on 1/7/11. Why is this important? My nephew was born on 9/7, my niece was born on 6/7, my daughter was born on 8/7 and the baby we never got to meet was born on 1/7. To me, it makes this baby not a fluke of genetics, not a mistake, but a part of the family. A really tiny, but truly amazing part of the family who will always be remembered.

Complete and Total

The ultrasound tech cheerily informed me today that my ute is completely empty. She was actually somewhat excited about it. Excuse me if I don't jump up and down doing a happy dance because there is absolutely no evidence left of the baby I saw just last week. I know it's good for a miscarriage to be complete and total. That means I don't need meds to help my body flush out tissue. I don't need a Dusting & Cleaning as my family calls it. For my body, it's over. Now I just have to deal with the emotions. However, she really had some nerve to be happy about it. I wanted to smack her across the face with the internal wand.

Don't Blink

One week later... I re-read my post from last Monday. It took a while for me to be able to do that. I remember how happy and relieved I was. I saw a strong heartbeat. My fears that the baby wasn't meant to be were eased. I was given the green light that all was okay. The rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows was going to be over.

Well, it's Monday. I am again set up for another emergency ultrasound. However, I know this one won't be as happy as the last one. This time I refuse to look. I can't handle seeing an empy screen where my strong healthy baby was just one short week ago.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day 5

Your Siblings

I never knew how to answer the question Where are you in your family? I have never been the oldest. I have been the baby, the middle child and an only child, depending on when in my life I was answering for and for which side of the family I was talking to.

My parents (mom and dad) had my brother. 2 years later I came along = I'm the baby

My parents divorced and my brother went to live with my father, I would only see him a couple of times a month = I'm an only child with my mother, but on weekends with my father, I was still the baby

My father remarried and his new wife had a baby = I'm the middle child on weekends with my father

My mother remarried and her husband had two older daughters = I'm the baby again with my mother

My mother got divorced again = I'm the only with her except on rare weekends with my older brother

So I guess I'm my mother's baby, but my father's middle.

Jeesh, my life is confusing!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Maternity Monday

I stole this list from a friend, Tiffany, over at Simply Tiffany. I love how she was able to keep track of her progress weekly and the list is very comprehensive. Hopefully I can keep it up.

How Far Along: 7w5d

Total Weight Gain:  I don't want to know, especially since I've been craving Whoppers for breakfast lately. I put my scale in the closet and hope not to see it again until about two weeks after this baby is born. I have a nurse appointment on Thursday and will get my weight checked then.
Maternity Clothes:  I'm starting to get too big for my regular clothes due to bloat. I'll be bringing my tote of maternity clothes down from the attic soon I'm sure.
Sleep:  Not a whole lot, but that has more to do with AJ than the baby. Ugh! Hopefully she figures out how to sleep more regularly before this baby comes. Otherwise I have my work cut out for me.

Cravings or Aversions: I want Whoppers for breakfast and nothing for dinner. I HATED Whoppers 5 weeks ago.
Best Moment This Week: The ultrasound today. I went in thinking I lost the baby, and I got to hear an amazing 145bpm heartrate, and see the cutest flicker ever.
Movement: Definitely not yet, only gas movement for now.

Gender:  I'm thinking girl at the moment

Labor Signs: Please no.
Belly Button in or out: In
What I miss:  Wanting to eat dinner

What I'm Looking Forward to: Nurse visit on Thursday.

Weekly Wisdom:  Be sure to love your doctor's office. They're going to be with you for a long time.

Milestones:  First scare with good results.
What the baby is up to: Week 5 - Baby: Your embryo still hasn't grown much. It's about 0.05 inches long. Heart, brain, spinal cord, muscle and bones are beginning to develop. The placenta, which will nourish your baby, and the amniotic sac, which provides a warm and safe environment where the baby can move easily, are still forming, too.

Day 4

Your parents:

My mother is my best friend. It may sound sad, but it's true. We've been through so much, she's the first person I think to tell when something good or bad happens. She's crazy, funny, and so strong. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

My father is very smart. I didn't need the internet growing up (good thing, since it wasn't around until much later). He has knowledge about most things and I could always come to him with a question. He loves being outdoors, and tinkering with things. He is always involved in projects and busy busy busy. He has been a lifesaver in our new homeowner status, especially since we bought an old house with lots of "charm".

Deja Vu all over again

Well, it looks like the 8th time was the charm.

EDD 8/17/11

I didn't want to post this too soon, as I've feared this wouldn't be our take home baby. I'm not sure why I felt like that, but until today, when I had confirmation of a healthy baby, I haven't been sure this would be for real.

So, now that I'm pretty sure this is it, I'll try to get to posting more frequently so I can document this pregnancy, unlike poor AJ who was shafted in the blogosphere.

I wasn't supposed to have an u/s this soon. However, on New Years day, I bled, red. I had sharp cramps on Sunday and with very few pregnancy symptoms, I feared the worst. Thankfully the doctor office got me right in for a check. There it was the most amazing 145bpm I've ever heard (at least since AJ's 7w u/s). Funny thing huh, I had a dating u/s with AJ. I wasn't sure when the last period was, so they brought me in for a dating u/s at 7w 4d. I had a viability u/s with this one at 7w5d.

Lots of similarities, lots of differences. I can't wait to get this journey going.